Who's phone RINGS anymore!?

This is a blessing for anyone with a phone that like ringtones. I have a special ringtone for EVERYONE  and EVERYTHING that my phone does. I was paying before I found the site. Its free all you have to do is make an account (they just ask for like your phone number and an email). I think about it like MySpace for ringtones. I figured I been complaining a lot lately so I thought I'd be helpful, lol ;-) enjoy. 

Tones

You're Welcome. . .

I Scream This Shit on the Way Home!

There are times when one must use their own words. However there are also times when others penetrate our souls with such precision with their own articulation that we have no choice but to let their words bleed for us . . . This is one of those times, "tell everybody that you know. . ."

Written a YEAR ago, apparently, I never hit "Post"

I missed work today?!?! What the fuck! This may sound bad but missing work isn't what's bothering me. What's bothering me is HOW I missed work. What's bothering me is the pain steaking efforts I went to in order to NOT miss work. How all the obvious signs were there that I was GOING to miss work however I chose to ignore them and her I am, at HOME, when I need to be at WORK! Let me take you on my journey. . .

A few days ago a good few friends of mine said something along the lines of "hey jay, what's good. We are having an event at our school in connecticut and would love for you to attend." Naturally I said "SURE GUYS, no doubt." Once I said that I immidietly started calling around at my job to see if anyone was avaliable to fill for me while I was out for the days of the event. 

Let's back track a little just so you have some sort of frame of refference. My job had these point systems where they track attendence. It's VERY inadiquait but hey, it is what it is. When you have unexcused absences they are called "occurneces." 9 of those within a year and you get "diciplinary action." Basically it's a write up. You don't want that. So the point is I have over half of my 9 and I'm not looking to keep racking them up. For the record, you get them for ANYTHING. being 1min late (litterally), not wearing the right color, raising your voice at a supirior ANYTHING. So nine may SEEM like a lot. But when EVERTHING counts those are taken up QUICKLY. 

Ok, so I'm calling around and NOBODY is available. It doesn't help that the time I need someone for is a sunday. the ONE day that people are admit about NOT working or having be a "personal" day. So a few days go by and I'm thinking "Damn, I really want to go to this event but I WILL NOT be able to find anyone to take it." Well, I had one last option. We have this thing called a "trade board." It's not a real board it's virtual. You can post your schedule on it and if somebody else is free and would like to cover for you they can assign their name to it, you get an email saying your no longer responsible for the schedule, you thank them and it's done. Needless to say that SUNDAY schedules usually sit there for sometime, lol. However, somebody was gracious enough to cover my sunday schedule, HAZAA!! I'm FREE! 

Naturally I start planning out my weekend. Now I didn't post my whole sunday schedule just the former half because I didn't want to have to wake up early after being out the night before and just risk the chance of over sleeping. So I adjusted it to be in at 6pm. I know what you're thinking even after a night out, being to work by 6pm is TOTALLY doable. and your right, for everyone EXCEPT me :-/. 

SO naturally I make my schedule, adjust my time, go out have a great time get ready for work with a little time left for myself and I think. Damn, I'm really tired. I didnt get much slee 

I wonder what makes people so cold. Talking to people makes me realize that as a generation we are so sarcastic, bitter, angry, at so many things. Everyone hides be hind snide remarks and hard masks. They refuse to open up even when shown kindness they slap away open arms of hugs or they just straight punch you in the chest. I don't understand it. Wait, I do, I understand it, the world is a dark place and it's hard to stay kind and warm when everything around you is cold and gray. But, DAMN, is anyone human anymore. Just a quick thought. . . ok over and out.

The funny part is, the person that inspired this will never even read this. . . :-/

In a World Full of People

   Normally, being who I am I would never let my fears be known to others. Regardless of what some might say or think it IS a weakness. It’s something that other people might use to manipulate you or hurt you. However, I’m going talk about my fears, my biggest fears at that. I hope that by talking about them I will force myself to confront them, or them to confront me and maybe help myself take a step or two past them.

 

Here goes. . .

 

   A1, Number uno, BIGGEST fears: Rejection and Loneliness. I’ll try to keep this semi-brief. If you're reading this I know you must be interested but at the same time you weren’t looking to read a book about my life, lol. Rejection by itself is not really a big deal to me. I have a tough skin about that. Rejection of my true self is what scares me to death. I said I have a tough skin about rejection. Well, that skin is just that I choose not to be myself. It’s sounds strange that somebody can NEVER be himself. However its true, I suppose I started being that way as a kid. I always had a sort of gawkiness about me. I like Star Trek, Star Wars, I like to play pretend (alone, LOL), I would go in the bathroom when my mother wasn’t home take 10 toilet paper tubes stack them up in the tube and light them on fire for NO reason, sometimes I would go in the bathroom and just make faces at myself to see how I look when I make faces (I still do that I must admit). I was that kids who would walk into a group of other kids with those conversations that go like “You know when you’re doing _____ and this happens?” then everyone else says “Ohhh yeahhh, I do that TOO” but when I would add my comment  “you know when you do ____ and _____ happens” everyone would just stop and look like “No. I never do that.” Then I felt stupid. My mother never made me feel like I should be more “normal” or do things that the other kids did just because they were doing them and I should “fit in” but over time I started to notice that I was different and had a hard time making friends. I’m an only child so friends were kind of important. I didn’t want to spend all my time alone. Its funny because as a child and even now I can only deal with people for a particular amount of time (not even a LONG time, lol, like a few hours. A whole day is PUSHING it). Nonetheless, I valued friendship and acceptance. So with that said, I learned what people liked, what people wanted in friends, and what kind of things were “popular” “cool” and “normal.” So I kept my personal interest and true likes and hobbies to myself. When I was outside I sort of became my “public me” the person that was likeable and appeasing to others and made me “normal” and “cool” and eventually once I mastered it “popular.”

 

   People often tell me that that I have “an answer for everything”  “That I’m a smooth talker” “I have a way with words” “or I’m “interesting” I’ve been called “an observer” “Observant” and “watchful.” I always take what people say with a grain of salt, however, comments like those DO ring true. Its no coincidence that someone who wants to fit in so bad and avoid rejection would be a good listener, be able to read between the lines or make acute observations about people or groups. If what you want is to be of interest to people than you need to shut up and see and hear what people are interested in, lol! As far as having an “answer for everything” which is something I hear ALL the time. Whenever a moment occurs when people feel the need to say that is when I “slip.” I mentioned before I have built this sort of “public me” not even purposefully or even consciously (although I am conscious of it), but he’s there regardless. And sometimes the “real me” slips thought a little and if you have been talking to the “public me” for a little and then there are some inconsistencies it’s like “huh.” So at those moments I have to kind of patchwork the public me up in mid conversation. The things is, at this point in my life I have been, I guess for a lack of wanting to sugar coat it, “faking it” for so long it’s just innate that when I see people starting to see the real me I get scared about it and start talking over him or around him. I get funny and joke and all those things because I know that if you get to look at the real me two things might happen 1) it’s like, “WTF, who the hell is this” and 2) You might not like it. I can deal with one, but to be honest I don’t think I can deal with two. I mean naturally this “Public me” is not perfect and some people don’t like me. But I can brush that off by simply saying “fuck them, they didn’t know the real me anyway.” And, you know what? THAT WORKS, I have never felt like I really had to deal with TRUE rejection except once in 8^th grade when the FIRST girl I every really liked and I mean as close as you can come to real LOVE, in the 8^th grade at least, rejected me and I was really being myself (who knows maybe that’s what started this whole deal). But yeah, the only issue with this is that as an adult, I really don’t know how to introduce who I REALLY am to anyone. I have been this way, with this duality of personality for so long that it’s just become part of me.

 

   I suppose with the whole rejection thing its kind of like waiting for a bus that doesn’t seem to be coming. Once you start waiting it just getting harder and harder to leave until you become more DEDITCATED to catching the bus than to getting where you’re going. You start thinking about how long you’ve been waiting, about how as SOON as you leave the bus stop you are going to see the bus pull right past you, how you refuse to miss this bus cause you just spent 35mins waiting!! And you totally loose track that the bus is only a means to get where you’re going. I suppose it’s the same for me in some ways. I want people to just be cool with that which I am normally, quarks and all so I build this “bus” to get people to the real me. I figured I’d bring them in on the “public me” and drop them off at the “real me”. But I been waiting so long on showing them the real me that I start to think “damn, if I show them the real me will they even see it as being genuine or fake because they only know me as nothing but who I’ve been.” But that’s not who I am. . . . . . . . I’m going to let you read that over and catch up, I’ll wait. . . . . . . . . . . Ok, so there that is.

 

   As far as being lonely. I suppose the connection is as obvious as it appears. I just don’t want to be alone in life. I don’t just mean friends though. I want that unconditional connection that you get from your brothers and sisters (although I don’t have any) or your mother, or for some, their husbands and wives. I guess in my attempt to thwart loneliness I have created this persona of an ultra likable person to avoid rejection and being left alone.

 

   Somebody said something to me a little while ago that rang SO true to me it was scary. To be honest it made me retreat from them because it was as if she saw me. All my mistakes, flaws, quarks, shortcomings, lies, secrets, fears, insecurities and all. It was like when she said it she was talking about ME! It was so specific to my life and who I am that I thought there is no way this is just some shit she heard and wanted to mention. This was her telling me I SEE YOU. I see the real you and it scared me because I wasn’t ready for that yet. We were talking about the double standards about men and women and how women do things and they are judged and how men aren’t judged by the same standards. Then we moved on to how when time goes on and people eventually get to the point in their lives when they want to get married and have families and all that and the tables turn a little. Where women once were judged on what they were DOING it is now men who are judged on what they HAVE DONE. I can never remember the exact quote but to paraphrase it was something like; will the woman that you love except you and all the things you’ve done in the past. So its like saying yeah she might like who you are now or who she sees in front of her but when you two really get to know her and she sees all the mistakes you’ve made and the baggage (emotional or otherwise) that you carry will she be able to accept THAT too. That totally just compounded my fear by validating it. I was at a point where I was trying to convince myself that “hey, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one thinking about this too hard and nobody else even cares.” You know that place where you try to well up some courage to over come something. You gotta talk yourself into it, lol.

 

   I think that to date that is the most accurate way that I can think of to sum up what my biggest fears are. Just being accepted for not just who I am now but for who I am, have been and can possibly be in the future, unconditionally. I know I have the capacity to be like that but I know that it’s only facilitated by knowing that others feel the same way. I refuse to be taken advantage of. Put myself on the line and have people shit on me when I know that I wouldn’t do that to them. . .

 

   Ok, I’m going to just stop here because I have to go to work, lol. But hopefully you didn’t get the lazy eye trying to read all this and maybe I will come to some conclusion later and it this will have been a step to that conclusion. In the mean time I guess I’m just stuck “Alone in a world full of people. . .”

 

 

pEacE

Keep the Party Going. . .

    Ok, so it’s been about a week. Election time has come and gone and here I am. I’m going to start by saying this. I did NOT want to write today! Not at all, things are NOT going smoothly have not been for sometime. I really would like to use the time I’m spending writing to sort out some personal things that are really burdening my spirit but I said I was going to do this and what’s the point in saying it when the first excuse I get to avoid makes me renege. So here it is.

 

What I think about Obama:

 

       I didn’t want to post anything about the election before it actually took place. I’m not suppositious but I didn’t want to jinx anything. I mean every little bit helps right. So I just kept my opinion to myself. However now that he is good and elected I can bust this metaphoric lexical nut! So, here’s the part where you all blow up. But, really, I was NOT excited when he won, I wasn’t crying, I didn’t have any real deep emotions about it to be honest, of course I’m going to tell you why.  I have been struggling with something since Obama became a legitimate candidate for president and it’s becoming more of an issue now that he IS going to be the next president. Basically, is he Black? Now I know that there are many people that are like “are you serious, of course he’s black.” The whole one-drop rule and all that right? Wrong! Obama is a person of color, undoubtedly. HOWEVER, his actual life experience, what makes him, him and gives him his sense of loyalty and character are NOT from the same “salad bowl” American experience that we all share as “average” Black Americans. He grew up in Hawaii with a white family and his father is AFRICAN so to visit that side of the family he went to Africa, not North Carolina, not Georgia, Not Alabama. Not the places where true African American culture was born, the place where EVERY Black person can trace their heritage. Where you learn about what a lynching is and what it means to have to fight for the right to even LOOK at somebody of a different color. I’m ranting. The point is that his “Black experience” is not traditional so by default what Black is to him is not going to be inline with what the greater part of Black Americans feel like black is. His ideas about what’s important to “Black America” aren’t going to be innate in the way that yours or mine would be. Black is more than just a brown layer of skin to me.

 

        Also, I have not fully come to terms with the fact that Barack, although a great guy is a watered down version of a Black man. Ok ok ok, don’t lynch me yet. What I’m saying is look at him, soft-spoken, lanky, slightly goofy looking, hairless (no beard, no mustache, or sideburns) Ultra light skinned, half African half white guy. He’s about as far away from a Black person you can get and still be called “African American” when 99.9% of people think of ANYONE Black, regardless if the person is Black or White, Obama is NOT what they picture. Is that good or bad? I don’t know, but that’s not the issue. The issue is does he really represent the “Black Community” in AMERICA? I for one am NOT so sure. People are calling this some major victory for Black people (well some people are others are trying to steal it like they do everything else and call it a victory for the nation. A Straight Black victory would be too much to handle. Again, even in asserting that his Blackness made this historical it cannot be TOO black so we have to water down the strength of the idea that a Black man can be president and look out for HIS people like the presidents have done who supported slavery, segregation, and other forms of oppression it was clear that as a “WHITE president I’m going to look out for WHITE interest”) so yea, even though people are calling this a victory for Black people I see this more as a compromise. We wanted a Black president and they said no. They told us that we are afraid of you, you are big and black and scary and we don’t want to give you any power. You might turn around and remember all those centuries of oppression and brutal mutilation to your family structures and psychological genocide that we have put you through. You might get upset and turn around and put US in the cotton fields. So what did WE do? We said ok, we are going to show you that we love you enough to let us be in charge. We shaved our face, we cut our course hair, we trimmed down our naturally more muscular builds, and we even went as far as to literally water it down a little with some white. Then we brought Barack to the table and said ok, so, he’s not going to steal your wallet, or rape your daughters. Hell, most of US don’t even think he’s black, how about now?! They took it and we got to have a “Black man” in the white house.

 

           So I say that to say this, the major issue is why do we as a people have to cater to White America? Obviously it’s because they hold all the keys to all the doors. But why do we have to be so happy about it though? When Lincoln wins and frees the slaves to benefit WHITE people because he wanted to urge them to fight and have southern slaves migrate north (NOT because he was just that gracious) that was ok. But for Obama to run and say hey, “I’m Black, things have been fucked up in this country for Black people since they GOT here and I would like to help make things better for my people WHILE I build a better country” would be political suicide.

 

In a conversations I recently had with a good friend of mine he said:

 

Standards are set by the majority in any country. Of course. Just like a white person in a Black neighborhood, the white person is expected to conform to the standards from which he is a minority. He will start to listen to the music, wear the clothes and take on the language.

 

And to assume that Barack Obama, George Bush, Bill Clinton, John McCain, etc. all live their day to day life under the conformity of the professional arena is GROSSLY inaccurate and unreasonable.

 

           I live in HARLEM NYC! The definition of White people moving into your shit. And let me tell you my brother that is NOT what happens. When an elitist majority that feels entitled to, well, everything, and has on some level superiority complexes moves into your area, even if there is just ONE. YOU become uncomfortable. They do not change because they see no need to. It’s like the “White man’s burden” they came in and saw something different and did NOT think “oh, lets learn this” they thought “This is different from how we do things and so it MUST be wrong and needs change because we have he ONLY way”

         And white people are the MINORITY here. They are the largest singular group but as a whole there are less of them than everyone else. So the standard is very much misrepresentative of the actually population of the country. Lastly all those presidents did what white people do, they got into the white house to push THEIR agendas and to CHANGE the standard. The exact opposite of conformity. They what they do, they just call it “reform” it’s one of those words you hear a MILLION times on CNN but never really get a real definition of, like “Insurgents.” So do they live their day-to-day lives, no. However they don’t conform they push the environment around them become as close to how THEY like as possible. Unlike what Obama has to do which is the opposite, he tries to conform to be accepted.

 

          The reason I say that is because to say that Barack or anybody the runs for president must conform is not wrong, but to say that it’s just the way things are naturally is. A Black man doesn’t just have to conform he has to concede parts of himself, parts of his soul (defined by Webster’s as “a sense of pride shared between African Americans). A white man doesn’t even know what would feel like because they ARE the standard.

 

          Lastly, I just want to say that I’m happy that Obama won. I may not know if I like Obama but I am SURE that McCain was the wrong choice. I just hope that Obama can live up to the standards he let be built about himself and that he gets a VEST!

Aim and Let Off. . .

         So, I’ve found new to motivation to blog. Formerly it was about whatever I wanted it to be about. I suppose it will still be about whatever I choose. The difference here is I’m going to be using it as a tool to tune and train my ability to express myself and  gain discipline in doing so. Previously, I would blog when I felt like it. As I got more comfortable and had expressed all the obvious things that I had passion about I would stop because it became hard. However, that was the mistake. It is easy to be insightful when you have passion about what you’re saying or when it was previously on your mind. You have been thinking about it constantly during idle time you find yourself with. But the true challenge and measure of greatness (of which I’m sure I sprout and am capable of, through written expression in any form) is to be able to firstly identify something worth thinking about that peaks interest in you and be able to GAIN an understanding of it, then to express that understanding how you see it, to others clearly, concisely and for me creatively. Even the greatest minds lack that ability. I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where we wished to gain a better understanding of something and have picked up a book on the issue or sought out a source that we thought would be helpful and have been left uninformed or thoroughly confused after what seemed like what should have been an informative exchange. Why, because it was clear that they had a good understanding and grasp of the topic, whatever it may have been, however they were just unable to communicate that understanding. That is the basic boundary, in my view of greatness. The ability to communicate one’s “verb.” By the verb I mean whatever it is you are doing, thinking, saying, hearing or have heard, learning or have learned. Basically whatever makes you feel the need to move on “it.” One can have great desire, but without the means to act there is just desire.

 

          So, with this blog from here until I feel I have accomplished my goals I will be honing my ability to communicate my understanding of whatever! So I suppose I should start with my personal Mission statement. This by no means is static and WILL change without notice but most likely I’ll mention the major alterations ;-)

 

 

 

 

What it is:

           This blog is the expressed efforts of myself to better my own means of  VERB communication. Through it I will sharpen my ability to translate my feelings, ideas, ideals and all other things I feel urged to transpose onto others, into a form that will allow all to experience my experience. Additionally I will push myself to gain discipline in the area of consistency and sustain this blog regularly in the face of  internal apathy. Furthermore I am going to DISCONCERN myself with the attention of others in regard to this blog AND my other forms of expression and Verb transposition. I DO encourage all to travel with me on my journey to better relay and receive verbs from others. I feel that this can only make the world better. However, the approval of others will neither encourage nor discourage me. I am Self Motivated from this point forward. Period.

Barak on Hip Hop

Ok, I have been on the Obama fence for some time now. I wasn't sure if he was black, white, Cablasion (as Tiger calls it). I wasn't really sure where he stood on the issue of his "blackness." To me that is very important, especially, in today's socio-political and economic climate. To be honest I'm not sure I feel any more affinity for Obama now but I do know this... Watching this clip didn't give me the usual jaw clenching feeling I usually get when I hear the "Civil Rights" generation talk about hip hop. They talk about it from such a far removed place that it's almost impossible to take their opinion and criticism to heart. Furthermore, they have this old school way of thinking i.e. I'm older than you so if I say hip hop is bad it's bad. Respect your elders... back in my day we didn't blah blah blah." Not to seem disrespectful but that just doesn't fly with today's youth. The control parents once had came largely from control of what your children knew or experienced. Now, the the innovation of the Internet and text messaging, parents have virtually no control of what information their kids have access to. So when you get people around your grandparents age or even your parents (if you have parents that are actually parent age! Not like your 25 and your mom is 32, lol) barking mindlessly about your music without even taking the time to listen to a song that wasn't looped on Hot97 or BET (Black Embarrassing Television) a million times, it's hard to take seriously.
In this clip Barak comes off like a concerned dad. He seems like he's taken the time to listen to a Jay-Z album and see the quality of his lyrical ability in SPITE of the "Radio Play" tracks. He says he met with Jay and Kanye. Not that every parent can do that, obviously most can not! However it's the sentiment of his effort. He points out the bad in such a tender and kind way that you can't help but say "damn, I need to stop cursing."
Overall, I'm not handing out any "Black Passes" or anything, but I'm not mad at him...

~H. Herald~

Whitey on the come up!!!

I don't know what to think! To see the full segment click the title of the Post... I REALLY REALLY suggest you watch the whole thing! It's about 12mins.

You may call me, simply.... V.

Hey everyone, I'm back and in effect. Ok so, I know I've been gone for a good little while now. However, THIS time I have a good reason (other than just being a lazy loafer and just not wanting to type out my thoughts). I Fucked up and got a REAL job! Two for that matter although the first I wouldn't call a job per-say (cause I actually like it). I digress; so yeah, I'm working for jetBlue!! Yayyyyy, for those of you who know me well you are probably saying "Damn, it's about time they gave this nigga a job!" lol. I have been going through training for the past several weeks! When they say "enjoy the jetBlue experience" they train the SHIT out of us to provide it to you (the customer). Believe that, it is NO coincidence that each and every pilot talks to you on the flight, even his jokes are not by chance. They really do tailor this company to make you feel, as a customer, as special as possible. I have been taught how to do everything from talk to customers all the way down to how to empty the lavatories on the plane in the "Blueway."

I say all of that to say this though, if you've ever seen movies like office space or shows like "the office" and you laugh at the jokes but have never worked in a real corporate environment, you are missing out on half the fun. I have always worked in places with youth and/or for non-profit orgs. All my Social Work heads out there know what I mean. We go to work and we handel our proverbial "B.I" however the atmosphere is always laid back for the most part. Supervisors are friendly, people hardly ever get fired (unless they are just WACKO or your grant money runs out, lol). HERE THOUGH! In corporate wonderland, shit is like a cult. They don't encourage free thinking, they don't tell the employees to work for the people, they don't want to help humanity or really further humanitarian efforts. Here, it is all about money!! Period. The funny part is to the simple minded..... stop. I shouldn't say that, I will say to the not so observant person it would seem that you are not even talking about what you are actually talking about. They have literally made up a new language to hide and cover what they are talking about. Instead of saying something like "We are all about money, fuck the people or the environment" they will say "We care about our customers and we will do whatever we need to in order to make their time with us as comfortable as possible. Make sure that you always value safety above all but lets remember *fake smile here* profit is what we are here for. After all this is a business and that's what we do *fake laugh here.*" Most people smile and laugh that off during an orientation but I sit and wonder how many people really get the message we are being indoctrinated with here. I mean really. It's just amazing how strong and serious the capitalist structures is in America. Ok... I'll stop here. I'm sure they are watching me... lol *Hey Anthony! That's my supervisor who's reading this right now... lol*

***a day later***

Ok, I'm back. I was typing that last portion at my desk and I KNOW my supervisor was looking at my terminal. But yeah, I've totally lost my train of thought a day later. However the main issue was just to say that. For all those people that think they have to "enter the system in order to change the system." That's B.S. the system will most certainly change you. Therefore, we must destroy the system and rebuild it for the people.

~V~

Eh.... It's NOT that serious, EVER!

Are we talking because we have things to say or because we think of things to say so we can talk???

"Comment or Die"

One, Two, Three, Four, FIF!!!

          It's said that a picture is worth a 1,000 words. Well in this day and age with all that's going on; Wars in Irak, Iran, North Korea, pretty much the whole world, Possibly the first black president at our doorstep, Hilary fighting dirty, Congestion Pricing, MTA raising fairs and tolls, this economic depression, the real-estate market, the US dollar being reduced to one level above mud, and how can we not mention GAS!!! With ALLL of that, I feel like this picture is worth more than a 1,000 words, it's one of the best satirical representation of these harsh times EVER!!! If this doesn't encompass the day to day sentiment of an average american, scratch that, the average human on the planet, what does!?!?

Yours Truly,

~Harlem H.~

Tell 'Em Why You Mad Vol. 1

     Ok, I'm back to being the angry Black man screamin' through your screen! I'm mad, no, I'm seething about this issue. Alright, right to the nittiest of the grit, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL TAKING ABOUT GOVONER SPITZER?!? But more importantly why is everyone trying to absolve this woman Ashley or Tricia or whatever, of all blame and responsibility?!?!

         So, I'm watching my daily TiVo recording of The View (that's right, I said it... the VIEW) and they are talking about the "Spitzer Scandal," again.  They were condemning this man with NO remorse for doing something that should NOT have been a surprised for ANYONE. I mean lets look back at the history of men, really people... I'm not saying that he should be proud of it, I'm not saying it was right, I'm not even saying it's excusable. What I AM saying is that if we look at things like Jerry Springer, Maury, Jenny Jones (during her run), and even Ricky Lake (towards the end), we see these redneck, hill billy, trailer park, hood rat, project ass people making fools of themselves with the SAME situation [man dates woman; woman has baby w/man; man sleeps with woman’s sister/cousin/roommate/co-worker/best friend; man and woman make asses of themselves on TV]. We all watch these shows, we all expect exactly what happens and no body is indicted or wrapped up in "scandal." They are just some scalawag type people and that's that. We go on about our daily lives and men go on living and women go on making media induced, sweeping judgments like "all men are dogs" so-on and so-forth. Now, with that said, what makes ANYONE think that politicians are ANY different, at least in the fundamental basics of "maness," from these men on television or in real life for that matter?! He is a man with more money so, ok, his ho's gonna cost a little more, look a little nicer (not like Rhaneaita from up the street with one canine missing and a bad weave), and be "well spoken" 

 

COMPLETE SIDE NOTE::: I wrote on a friend’s Facebook wall a few days ago and she wrote back "I'm impressed by your vocabulary." In essence saying "You speak so well." Really, I mean for real?!? I thought to myself, "You must not have any Black friends." LMAO! Just for the record though, I'm not offended. I think she was just trying to be nice in that awkward way that white people can sometimes be around Black folks. I mean I must admit, if I was white I wouldn't even talk to Black people. That would be too much pressure, lol. All-in-all, I just thought it was hilarious... ok, aaaannnnnndddddddddddd

 

We're back*

 

       Another thing…. Now I know what all you ladies are going to say "Omg, I can't believe you said that!?" "How dare you be so machismo and chauvinistic in this day and age?!" blah blah blah... Just for the record EVERY man thought this when they showed the pictures of the "woman in question" (I'm not going to say her name. I don't want to give her ANYMORE hits on google). But yeah, I mean lets be practical here. Have you SEEN Mrs. Spitzer?!?! I mean she's nothing to look at. She's one smile line and a crows foot away from being that guy in the "You Don't Always Die From Tabacco" ad. So you going to tell me that nobody saw that coming, this man controls one of the most, excuse me, THE most high profile state in the country, has a stressful day EVERY day, you KNOW Mrs. Spitzer isn't really getting it like that. Let’s be real here. I'm not saying it's right but I'm just saying people don't expect that much from priest in terms of sexual fortitude and self control but the governor is supposed to be a saint? This man has the resources of an entire state government at his hands and almost an unlimited ability to cover his actions! I mean I've seen ray-ray from up the block do more with less, ok people! I'm not saying let's excuse the man. I'm just saying lets be fair. Nothing he did was crazy! He didn't kill anyone. In the spirit of a great comedian, "when this girl was going to suck the Govs dick. Mrs. Spitzer should have already been down there taking care of business" lol. Ok that was a bit wrong on my part to say. But do you at least get the point... It's just not that big a deal, really. Let's just call a spade a spade; not call a spade a spade then BLOW THE SPADE TO PEICES, BURY IT, LET IT ROT, and BLOW IT UP AGAIN!!

 

        I did NOT forget about the Govs. Call Girl (from now on to be called GCG). Why does everyone feel she is such a victim??!!?? On the View they clearly said that she is the victim. They were starting to question her motives, and rightfully so, then they stopped and back tracked like "wait, let's not look into why she's slobbing nobs for cash! Let's just look at the governor," who, by the way, is SURELY not her only client, hummm... think about that. This girl is 22 or close to that. When does that make you NOT a responsible adult or at least an adult responsible for their actions. This girl is SO not a victim by ANY means. If anything she's a benefactor! Let's look at the arrangement here. She sets a few nuts on her chin, high profile nuts mind you, and now she's getting record deals, lucrative offers for all sorts of TV shows, magazine spreads, interviews, ect, she's has relative stardom, all just from taking a few to the head so-to-speak (lol, that was a pretty good one, lol). Shall we look at the former Gov, he lost his job, his respect, his wife most likely (I mean she'll stay with him in form, but in the reality of their marriage, that shit is a WRAP) and now he's being seen as some quasi sexual predator, which I think is unwarranted, GCG was completely of age. Which brings me back to the original point. In what way is this girl a victim?!? That is the real question. I would like to see some comments about why she is a victim. I know I have a few "feminist" readers out there that I'm sure have an answer (UBfeminist, Sophia, Mona and all those "anonymous" commentators). 

 

       To wrap this all up; Gov. Spitzer didn't do anything worth damn near a month and change of CONSTANT news coverage. There was no surprise there. How about we focus on the egregiousness of "Congestion Pricing," the proverbial slap in the face of these erroneous reasons for MTA fair hikes, and a State budget that doesn't even BEGIN to address poorly funded schools, horrible health care, and a neglected aging population. All the while we are building a billion dollar baseball stadium, and pumping billions of dollars into the SYSTEMATIC gentrification of areas of the last affordable places to live. How about we focus on that for a bit and leave the person in charge of it alone so the motherfucker can concentrate. I mean shit, if getting some head on a yacht will help figure out a better budget for the declining pubic school systems and get us some community programs that are actually useful, Mrs. Sptizer might have to take one for the team on this one... lol. 

 

       Furthermore, we should NOT absolve this woman of responsibility. Prostitution is a joint venture. For all purposes it's a business transaction. She was selling something and he bought it. There was no theft involved. All he did was pay for SERVICES RENDERED. Moreover, he's not even being prosecuted for prostitution, he's being prosecuted under the "Man Act" (that's the REAL name people. I didn't just make that up) for transporting the pussy across state lines... I digress, all I'm saying is... let's put the blame where it belongs, and that's on both of them equally. If it were drugs for example, we would be sending the DEALER to jail and condemning them and giving the BUYER all sorts of outs, and redeeming qualities (i.e. sending them to detox, rehab, explaining away their reasons for turning to drugs) but with this it's conspicuously all about the person buying and the SELLER is the victim??? 

 

Ok, thank you all for listening. I look forward to the hate mail. ;-)

 

Remember: If you don't comment, you're letting the terrorist win!"

~Harlem Herald~

 

RealTime, nah... fuck that! Real TALK!!!

To see these two together discussing real issues was like an intellectual orgasm to me. I swear if they made an album together I'd have sex with it! I mean it's like to see such great BLACK minds speak on things that don't have to do with asses shaking or booties bouncing is great! It's almost like Mos Def was the Urban translator for Prof. West...

Listen to DICK!

I'm not even going to bias this with a comment. I'm just going to post it and hope that your minds aren't too far gone with "American Idol-Reality TV-TMZ-Let the media think for me" syndrome to form an opinion about it and/or to have it strike a cord with you. Especially given the racial turn the Democratic candidate's race is taking as of late... 

>Did bill ask to be thrust in to the Black Community?

>Did he encourage a "pro-black" image of himself?

>Is he responsible for not living up to the expectations of the Black Community as of late in regard to the presidential democratic nomination?

~H. Herald~

P.S. I would like to give a HUGE shout out to Brooklyn Sista for the inspiration. Harlem has MUCH love for ya, BK ;-)

What Has Been Shall Never Be...

    So I’m going to start early today because I inadvertently missed my post for yesterday. Long-story-short, I feel asleep and woke up at ASS CRACK in the morning. So, today I’m knocking out two of these bad boys!

    The topic for entry one of this double header is fake people. Well, let me rephrase that… Not so much “fake” as, just trying too hard. I have been talking to this person, *WAIT*

***The LAST time I said I was talking to or about somebody (W.C. & Ike) I ended up getting a TON of emails and IM’s and facebook messages inquiring about who this person was, why I shouldn’t like her or why she wasn’t right for me, blah blah blah. I just would like to be clear this time around. I’m generally a pretty literal dude. So when I say I was talking to somebody, that’s EXACTLY what I mean, talking to! Not, in the colloquial sense i.e. dating, flirting, courting, or whatever… just talking i.e. conversing, exchanging ideas, communicating. So please, lets get OUT of junior high here people and as lil jon would say “Get on my LEVEL!!!”***

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog…

    So I been talking to them and it seems that they try to be something that they aren’t. Pleasant, honest, and seemingly genuine (although I’m still reserving judgment on the latter), but just not real ya know. For example, have you even spoken to someone who speaks like a little kid? I mean really, like in almost a “goo-goo ga-ga” type of tone (if that even makes sense. lol) or a man that speaks overtly like he’s 15 even though he’s obviously a grown ass man. As if they are afraid of growing up. Well, that’s the type of person I'm talking about here. How does one judge the sincerity of a person that isn’t comfortable being who they are or should I say as old as they are. Now, this person has explicitly expressed a fear of getting older, loosing their youthfulness, and not being as “excited” about life as they used to be. So, this is probably just my personal opinion however, I feel like it’s a great trade off. As you get older you do loose a bit of virility, sure, but you gain wisdom, judgment; your character really starts to develop and you just become a more secure person and the piece of mind that brings, I think, is worth losing a little youthfulness.

    To be fair they are a "she," at or around the “Quarter Life” mark (a term I despise by the way)! I know that makes a difference to some. People might think “Oh, well a woman at that age should be anxious. She’s supposed to be on her way to marriage, kids, a life, or whatever…” or “Well, I mean I understand where she’s coming from. I would be anxious too, I’m not old enough to be old but not a “”Spring Chicken”” any more either.” To that I would just say what’s wrong with just having wherever you are at that point in life just be ok. I’m all about setting goals, priorities and aspiring to those things but to put so much pressure on oneself that you have to almost FAKE how old you are! I mean that leads to so many other questions. IF you are acting like this, what else are you faking because you are ashamed of it or scared of the truth of it. It’s almost like she’s acting like a teenager, acting like what they think older people act like to appear older! *I’ll give you all a second with that one………………………………………..* Lastly, and most importantly, how does one know if people like this are even acting?! That is to say, I sit here and assume that nobody can really be like that or talk like that but who’s too say. Maybe these people REALLY are just this way. The really fucked up thing is, there is no way to know or find out without being offensive.

~H. Herald~


P.S. All and all this wasn’t really a blog that left much room for questions and comments I guess. However, please feel free to post your opinions and let me know what you think about the situation, people like that, or just something random that has nothing to do with this at all. Plus, if this doesn’t move you, you got one more left for the day! Ciao!

An ode to Hip Hop... well not really an "ode" just a cool comment :-)

As the the second edition to the "Hip Hop generation" (being that the true starters of the hip hop movement are probably about 5-6 years older than me) we like to credit people who have a good flow and good content and even some people that don't. But, I think we truly forget people who engineered the way rappers rap today. The style is SO different. Most of us remember Kid N Play right, the go-go rhythm and simple one two rap style... "Say Heyyyy, now say Hoooooooo! Now say Hey-Ho...." and so on. There was a time when a flow like Jay Z's or Nas' or Rakim or Keith Murry (also a SICK MC) wasn't even on the map; because it hadn't been invented yet. Crazy rapid fire styles like Bone Thugs' or even creative stop and start types like Kanye or Wayne weren't even in consideration. So, with that said, I'd like to pay homage to this Harlem native and a favorite rapper of mine from the days of way back. I mean like sitting in the house with a cassette tape in the Hi-Fi trying to catch his songs on the radio cause my mother wouldn't let me buy the tape... the FIRST RAP BATTLE EVER! More importantly though, a clip of time where hip hop went from being a entertaining musical style to a validated competitive arena where oratory stamina and mental power were necessity for credibility. Here's to you Kool-Moe Dee.

Sincerely,

~H. Herald~

Note To The Reader. . .

So for the rest of the month I'm going to attempt to post something EVERYDAY. I'm not sure how I'm going to respond to pushing out these creative juices. Normally I just write about whatever makes me excited enough to actually sit down and write about it. However, in my efforts to take my writing more seriously and to sharpen my creative expressions, I'm going to forgo the mood swings of my creativity and throw some D's on that bitch, so to speak... lol. So Look, out all! Here Comes Herald!

P.S. I was asked how someone could subscribe to my blog... Sadly enough I don't know how to do that myself. Any answers would be welcomed ;-)

[interim Posting]

I'm not even going to attempt to justify this or tie it into something deep or philosophically relevant... I just think this is HILARIOUS! All the bored cubical workers out there, I hope this is a welcomed change in pace from your usual water cooler banter and Dilbert humor... 

Giggidy Giggidy and good day...

~Hard E. Harr~

Find it, and Mind it...

It’s a new little joint called “mind your own business”/
When somebody’s in ya face you ask em “Why you all in it”/
Now I’ma tell you how to use “mind ya own business”/
It’s a complicated thing so please quite down and listen/
There’s no simple explanation, punch line and finish/
So I’ll just use some examples and see if you can feel it/


     Ok, so I was having a great conversation the other day with a cool friend and the topic of race came up, as it often does when speaking to me.

Side Note: I talk about race not so much because it’s what I care about the most but more because as a Black Man the world never fails to let me forget that I’m black so I will not let the world forget that I’m HERE!


    Yeah, so we’re talking about race and I say, during the conversation, “You know, white people should just mind their own business” than I think, we ALL should just mind our own business. It’s clear that we live in a world of people and naturally we are all going to mingle and talk and exchange cultural ideas. The problem I have is when others start to impose their cultural ideas on to me and MY group. When whites came over to Africa, America, and pretty much everywhere else, they didn’t stop and say “Oh, this is different. It’s nice to meet you all. Lets see how you guys do things and learn from each other!” They came and said, “Oh, you guys got a nice little set up here, it’s all good. But this is how I do things. Now that I’m here you need to get down or lay down!” To that I just say MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. But that doesn’t just go for white people. I mean that for all imperialistic/imposing groups! If you’re rich and I’m not and you want to live where I live (Harlem), I say to you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Harlem was just fine before you (by you I mean the gentrifying population. If you don’t know what that means it’s because it’s YOU) got here. You might not understand or agree with the way we do things or how we live but fuck that and FUCK YOU. We like it, it’s ours, ease back! Who’s to say that a Wal-Mart or a Virgin Mega Store is better than the Bodega and Mom & Pop’s Record shop. Don’t even get me started on Starbucks! Even religious groups, I’m shouting you out! CHRISTIANS, mind your OWN BUSINESS!!! All I have to say about them is “Crusades” if you don’t get it you should stop reading right now and reevaluate yourself. Jehovah’s Witnesses, PLEASE mind your own business. If I get one more knock at the door at ass crack in the morning I’ma pull my hair out.
    You know I really do believe that if we all mind our own business and just deal with our own life would be better. To drive the issue home a tad more, I’ll share this. I like to think about it like a family. Everyone has somebody in their family that is not the most upright person in the world (i.e. Crack heads, in jail, stealing all the time, drunks, ect…) but you still love them or maybe you don’t. But you deal with them in your own way. If one day somebody told you that “Uncle Johnny” had to go to jail for smoking a cigarette you’d be furious, because all this time the way YOU dealt with him was just putting him outside at the family picnic. That’s just an uncomfortable feeling for an outsider to come in and dictate a way of life to you! Even the animals know how to mind their own business. You don’t see deer telling birds how to fly, Ants telling sharks how to swim, horses telling cows how to give milk or dog telling squirrels how to clime trees. RIGHT NOW you can turn on National Geographic and see an Lion chase down, bite and kill an antelope and the whole time there’s a gang of monkeys in that tree waaaaaay over there watching. Now, if you could hear those monkeys and understand that conversation do you really think it would be like “OMG, Earl, we should send a delegation over there to try and rectify Lion/Antelope relations and see if we can come to some sort of peaceable agreement for all the lions to de-claw ASAP. If they don’t comply, we’ll send in the Elephants to maintain the peace.” That’s some bullllllllll shit! That conversation would be a LOT more like “That’s a damn shame what that Lion did to that Antelope” and that would be it. They would stay in that tree and “MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.”
    In closing I’ll say this. People, you know when something is your business so please just mind your own… For those of you that don’t know when shit isn’t your business here is one way that I think will help you in years to come. If you see, hear, or think something might be happening and you don’t have a clear, almost instinctual reaction to it but somebody else around you does… then it “isn’t your business” it’s theirs and you should let them handle it. If it doesn’t have anything to do with you, let it ride…

Thank you for letting me vent, I look forward to your hate mail… ☺

P.S. No animals were injured in the writing of this blog…


~H. Herald ~

A More Personal Note...

   This time around all, I’m writing about me. I know I know, your thinking “It’s YOUR blog, aren’t they all about you?!” Well, yes and no. Usually I write about issues that I think about, that effect the larger community. Broad themes and things. But today I’m writing about me or should I say something that bothers me about myself or perhaps others. That is where you all come in. The following issue is something that I have thought about a length, it’s ruined great relationships and put strains on potential relationships. At first I felt completely justified and later I felt as though it was an irrational thought and ever since I have been teetering back and forth between those two opinions. Well, I know by now we are all asking the question, what is this issue? Well, let me tell you.

 

It’s not something I can explain with one phrase. I’m going to have to “break it down” so-to-speak.

 

I hate when people I know and like are friends with people I don’t like. Hum.. I guess I could put it in one phrase… :-/

 

   Now, that seems simple enough either get over it or just don’t be friends with those people either. Ha! How naive we are. First we must look at the rationality of this point. I know that it is well within my rights as a person on the planet to like or not like anyone that I choose, as an extension of that I can choose to disassociate with the people who like the people that I don’t like. But how practical is this? Having recently left the undergraduate environment I understand the almost inability to not have anything to do with any particular person. What I mean by that is, the community is so small that it is inevitable to know somebody that knows any other person. I would even go as far as to say that this is triplely so in the minority community at ANY institution in America. The Black and Brown community is hyper sensitive to its members. You might not know everyone by name but you surely know who’s who. For example, when the freshmen come in you can look at a face and say to yourself “Hey, look, a new Black person…” So with all that said. I get it, you can’t just cut yourself off from “undesirables,” fine. But the issue I’m having is that I can’t help but be disgusted or turn up my nose at people who deal with them as well. Now, I know that I’m not the end-all be-all of social ranking. However, I DO think of myself as a good judge of character. So I feel as though if I don’t think this person is worth associating with why would anyone worth anything think otherwise. Does that sounds bad? Cocky? Arrogant? Victorian? These are things I would like feed back on. But moving on…

   To make it a little more personal. I’ll do just that… There is this young lady, lets just call her Wood Chuck or W.C. (Dub. C) for short and there is this nigger (I use the term because as all black people know There are Black Folks and then there are Niggers. This guy is a Nigger. White people, if you don’t know the difference ask your Black friends… But don’t ask your Nigger friends cause they will get offended) the Nigger we’ll just call, Ike. So, a little exposition on the story, Ike is this nosey nigger who at one time I was cool with. I knew him independently of anyone else I knew, which is to say we didn’t meet though anyone. As a matter of fact I once found his student ID card on a campus shuttle and instead of being niggerish and using up all his money at the vending machine I chose (in a attempt to promote non-niggerish behavior) to turn it in and facebook him that I found his ID and he could go pick it up. Now, here we are several months later. Remember, I know him independently of anyone else I know… and we don’t even know each other that well but I mean I went out my way to find this dude and give him his card.  That’s beside the point though, so a few months maybe a year go by and it’s always cool when I see him.  At the time my then girlfriend and I were separated. During that time I went on a date or two with one of Ikes friends, although I had no clue that she was his friend. Long story short Ike goes out of his way to mislead his friend into thinking that I was cheating on my girlfriend at the time to date her when in actuality we were not together and (this is a side note) he was actually dating my girlfriend at the time BEFORE we had separated and from what I believe they had been seeing each other for a while. Now, to make a long story short I will spare the details of the entire situation but I said all that just to show that this dude is a Nigger! Lol.

   So, now, W.C., she and I have known each other for SOOOOOOOME time. We met very randomly and just continued to stay in Semi-Touch over that last year extremely recently we have been talking and chilling form time to time. She’s cool as a fucking fan. No complaints as far as her character or anything like that. But then! And here’s the kicker… I’m scrolling through her facebook and BAM! Guess who’s on her buddy list… That shiftless ass, motherfucking nigger, Ike… Now, I will be the first to proclaim that facebook is by NO means the final word on one’s social network of friends. However, that did get me to thinking… So I hit the “Pictures” button and low and behold W.C. and Ike… Hugged up like freaking best buddies. His sweaty ass face pressed against hers at some tight, hot ass party, sharing drinks, talking and given the context of the situation doing whatever else… It just makes W.C. so much less appealing in so many ways (lets get out the gutter by the way. I’m not talking about sexually, just in terms of wanting to get to know her or letting her know me). I want to straight say “If you’re friends with them I’m not friends with you” but come on America how 5^th grade is that shit! But at the same time I can’t help but think about how much I HATE this Ike character. Even more so now because he’s affecting relationships I have with people that don’t even have anything to do with him. Rock and a fucking HARD PLACE people!

   With all of that though, isn’t it Human nature to be territorial of ones circle of friends and people you value for one reason or another. I mean if you have any kind of caring feeling for someone and you think that something is bad for them isn’t it only natural for you to not want them dealing with it. If I know something is dirty and I just saw you put on a white T, assuming I care, I’m not gonna let you walk into the dirtiest room in the house! That’s what Ike is… Straight dirt.

   So, back to the original question, given that W.C.’s is a wonderful person with not strikes against her name from my p.o.v. accept that she is friends with Ike. Am I justified in thinking less of W.C. because of that association? Please Post, Please Comment, or shit just send a brotha an email! I wanna know what to do America!!!

 

Lastly, a few proverbs that come to mind…

“You’re judged by the company you keep.” and “Birds of a feather flock together.”

 

~H. Herald~

 

 

Mic Check 1,2-1,2...

Ok all, I'm just trying something out... If I can get this to work it's gonna take this blog thing to a whole Otha-Notha level for a brotha... let's see.

Aight, so apparently this works... I've GONE multi-media. Great, so this is a re-production of Blue Magic by Jay-Z. Now, I don't know who you are reading this but you must say that this is ten times better than the original. It's by this dude "MidasTouchLive." I found him on YouTube. Basically this dude just takes songs that are already out and makes them HOTTER. He has over 20 tracks (with videos) and all of them have been better than the original. He's basically the next generation of rap. He just takes something that is already out and totally makes it his bitch. And at this point that seems to be a major part of hip hop. Taking the "ordinary" and making it special in some way. Until his style becomes the Stat-Quo, this dude is FIYA!

More to come... stay tuned world...

~H. Herald~

There's "Us" and "Them" but what happened to "Our"

    So, we are back like we left something. I’m in the airport and for anyone that knows me at ALL knows that this is not a new phenomena. I spend so much time in the airport I don’t feel right unless I go through full safety protocol before I do anything. Long story short, being in the airport as we all know is mostly a whole lot of queue’ing (that’s a little British slang for waiting ;-) ). During that time I decided that I going to stop being mindless and get OFF the iPod crack pipe. I know this is a tangent but please just indulge me for the next paragraph or so.

    So why is it that we all feel the NEED to constantly check the iPod. I mean we all see these people on the subways of our cites, in the airports, at the bus stops, eating alone in public eateries, or just walking down the street on their way to meet a friend. They are constantly checking their iPod. I cannot omit that I too am a constant checker. It’s like we KNOW that nothing is changing and the iPod is fine because we are LISTENING TO IT. We’d know if the song changed or the battery died or anything was seriously wrong because the song would change, skip, or go off. I think people just need something to do with themselves when they aren’t doing anything. No one is content with just being on their way. . . The down time just MUST be filled with the arbitrary checking of something even if it is not an iPod it’s a blackberry, or a trio, or their watch, or something. The horrible part is that it’s not a bad idea to be productive during your travel time. You know, catch up on some things and just make your life a little easier by getting ahead when you would otherwise be doing nothing too important anyway. But that’s not what people do. Notice how all the above I mention had nothing to do with anything productive. People check these arbitrary devices as if they are actually doing something that is contributing to their lives and futures, beyond the next stop on the A-Train to Far Rockaway, lol! They have these intensely concerned faces that allude to the idea that what they are looking at on their 1x1.5inch LCD is of the most urgent or important nature. Like if you couldn’t see what they were looking at and somebody asked you to describe what you thought they were looking at just by their expressions you’d naturally say they are reading the stock section of the times, proofing some presentation, or editing some work (all of which you should feel free to REALLY do). The next time you are in transit please look around and notice how many times the man next to you checks his iPod to make sure that he is, in fact, listening to the song that the iPod says he is listening to; because God forbid he is listening to Jimmy Hendrix when he THOUGHT he was listening to Edwin Star! Perhaps you should look up at your own reflection as you check that blackberry for your last AIM notification and notice how introspective and concerned you look at the fact that it took your bff Jill a half hour to respond to the fact that Bob didn’t call you back last night after he said “I’ll call right back.”

Ok so that was my tangent. . .

    So, yesterday I was in the library (you know, the building with all the books in it) and I was looking at something online and this person proceeds to point something out on my screen by actually TOUCHING the screen. Now I don’t really mind too many things, however, I take my computer seriously. Touching the screen or the computer at all is just NOT ok. It’s like asking me to actually take out my earbuds when you’re talking to me. I mean I MIGHT turn down the volume but that’s as far as it goes! So anyway, they saw my expression and immediately withdrew their hand. After a few more moments of looking on the internet and seeing me use some of the pretty cool features on my brand SPANKING new Mac they decided to do something that I recent realized makes white people VERY uncomfortable, they asked “how much did that cost?” I told them and they were taken back that somebody would spend that much on something that can’t give you an orgasm. That lead me to think, “Did the first man to own something think it would become so popular?”

    I mean lets think about this. In the history of people I’m sure that “ownership” was never an innate urge. It’s almost certainly learned. However, I sit here with this computer and all my other things and I feel an almost instinctual urge to claim MY things, MY space, to declare ownership of all these things that I didn’t make, had no hand in making, didn’t shed a drop of sweat in producing, but yet it’s mine because I gave some guy a few pieces of paper and in return he gave me this item? Even still the money that I have I had no hand in printing, creating, or making so how again is it mine? Oh, I know what you’re going to say, “You earned it. You worked for it so it’s yours.” Well to that I say this. If I build a ship and sell it, that ship is the only thing I really have the ability to even argue ownership on. I built it, made it with my own hands. Now, once I sell it it’s no longer mine. But the question is; when I sell it and receive money that was NOT made by the person giving it to me (meaning it’s not theirs in the first place to give since we have established ownership to not merely mean possession) what do I really “have” now? But all of that is a digression. Back to the point that ownership is a crazy idea. . . I mean just look at the history of most of the “brown world” we are all communal. But the FIRST man to own something; how did he explain that to others? Even now, most of your are like “WTF, I mean duh, I own this, that means its mine.” Damn, it just occurred to me that I think I might not want to do this in a Blog. Because where I’m going, very quickly, is to the question of when did the “I” become more important than that “We,” “Us,” and “Our?” That is something that I just cannot transcribe into a digital discourse. However, that is something I think we should take seriously and try to rectify. Yes rectify, as to imply that the action of putting the “I” over the “Us” was an error. I mean the “Us” is different to everyone but regardless of who your “Us” is, they allow you to think outside of yourself and that’s where we are able to truly learn and grow and that should be our true goal in any instance... I’ll leave it there.