Hey,
Ok, so I know I have been gone for a while. There has been a lot going on over here. Jobs and moving and on and on... But ok, so I'm back now. Been taking this writing class (Creative Writing). Been writing a lot of short stories and poems to boot. Not just the "Slam" style we are so comfortable with and have grown to enjoy. The teacher is pushing us to experiment with different kinds of standard form poetry. I, suppose, I say that to say this. I'm going to be posting some of what I do up and I would just like a honest opinion if you can. I Just want to see if I have any potential at all, or should I just not quit my day job, lol.
This is the first poetry piece we did the style is called "Acrostics" Check me out...
24hOuRs
2 hours too little.
4 hours too long.
Having too many things to do.
Or too little time to move on.
U move your fastest, bursting your lungs.
Running, running, running.
Stop! The next day comes…
~By. eBanks~
while i can't say i won't miss the "slam" posts this poem still gets the point across. short sweet and to the point...good stuff
ReplyDeleteUB feminist
What I've always been told in terms of poetry is to "constantly expand and contract". In other words elaborate on the actions behind the feelings you write and bring the reader with you. The "stop!" would be stronger perhaps if the character were thinking and wondering when the day would end or when this argument would be over or when their fucking Big Mac would be ready. Always experiment and whatever you dont like, contract and take it out. I definitely like what you have written thus far.
ReplyDelete