Shame Sait, Nifferent Dame:

This is another type of poetry named "Anaphora." So the idea with this one is to find some word or short string of words and use them again and again throughout the poem. There's no real rule to how you have to use the phrase, only that it has to be reoccurring to be considered an Anaphoric poem. Here we go... uh.... yeah... uh... bad boy... take dat take dat take dat.... can't stop won't stop... UH! lol, just kidding, had a Diddy moment but I'm back now. Ok... Anaphora!


Here's Hoping

I am hope
Full. That things will change.
I am hope
Ing. That love will remain.
I hope for brighter days
Filled with Darker people.
I hope for the best,
Prepare for the
Worst thing that can happen.
I am hope
less


~By. eBanks~

Be nice, people....

Hey,
Ok, so I know I have been gone for a while. There has been a lot going on over here. Jobs and moving and on and on... But ok, so I'm back now. Been taking this writing class (Creative Writing). Been writing a lot of short stories and poems to boot. Not just the "Slam" style we are so comfortable with and have grown to enjoy. The teacher is pushing us to experiment with different kinds of standard form poetry. I, suppose, I say that to say this. I'm going to be posting some of what I do up and I would just like a honest opinion if you can. I Just want to see if I have any potential at all, or should I just not quit my day job, lol.

This is the first poetry piece we did the style is called "Acrostics" Check me out...






24hOuRs

2 hours too little.
4 hours too long.

Having too many things to do.
Or too little time to move on.
U move your fastest, bursting your lungs.
Running, running, running.
Stop! The next day comes…


~By. eBanks~

What Happened to an Eye for an Eye??? [Reposted from 6/07]

So, I'm sitting watching this show. The premise of the show is "Ex-Wives that help other scorned or deserted partners express their feelings and move on". For some, where I'm going with this is obvious, for the rest of you, just stay tuned... I’m watching this with a female so naturally the "battle of the sexes" is amiss in the air. A part of me thinks that people make shoes like this JUST to raise the divorce rate a scoch more. Because as most men know... there is just something about a women that will NOT let her understand things that make logical sense if her emotions have already decided that she disagrees. However, I digress. As we are watching this show the topic of "moving on" comes up. The "life coach" (another BS way that rich women spend their time… giving themselves jobs and charging outrageous amounts of money to do it. We have life coaches in the Black Community too, we call them Big Momma) surprises one of these "scorned" women by taking her to some town where she has somehow come across this woman’s ex-husband’s classic car that is in mint condition. Long story short the life coach asks, for the benefit of the audience, what the car means to her? She says that throughout the relationship he treated the car better than he treated her. *Side note* - [that's something I hear often. Women claim to be second to objects, just to throw this out there and ladies I'm NOT being an ass, just trying to offer a possible answer. But maybe it's because the object is an outlet or a diversion from stress often caused by ones significant other, the time spent with this object can be controlled by you. If he has less reason to need "relief" from your relationship he will spend less time with "it" and more with you.... just at though]. So back to this car... THEY THROW IT OUT OF A PLANE!!! I'll say that again. He hurt her feelings so she threw his CAR out of a PLANE!!! Furthermore it was promoted and condoned as a justified act of "expression" and a sign of "moving on". I contend that a sign of moving on is MOVING THE HELL ON not throwing a mans car out of a plane! In addition, I'm sure you all know what happened next with the woman I’m sitting next to. Naturally, after seeing this I'm furious! Exclaiming on the sofa as we sit and watch this bullshit, "BULLSHIT!" which makes her say, "you'd never understand." I disagree. I think I do understand. I understand completely well. I understand that it's ok for a woman to Blow up a man's CAR and not have any consequences for it. To be completely free of any consequences for her actions because her feelings are hurt. I understand that in countless movies from the "waiting to exhale and blow a brothas car up" genera condone and PROMOTE these acts of violence, vandalism, harassment, extortion, and HIPOCRACY and hide it behind the vale of reciprocity! So the argument began. Her's was that the woman on this show was hurt, she was emotionally torn down, she was just a withered frail version of the woman she used to be. My argument is that if she stayed that long to allow herself to become this who's fault is that really. As an adult if you are in a relationship like this LEAVE. If you choose not to and become whatever it is you become, you can only be so mad at the other person. However under any situation your feeling do not equal the right to damage ANYONES property if they have done nothing to yours. But back to the issue of this mans CAR. This was a CLASSIC mint condition car worth, I'm sure, $100,000+. I can't believe that she or anyone else would sit there and tell me that because this woman’s FEELINGS were hurt that gives her the right to throw 100,000 dollars of this guy’s money OUT OF A FUCKING PLAN! I pose this one question. If that had been a man...? Enough said. I would like every man who ever finds himself in this type of argument, when you find yourself falling victim to the oh-so-popular feminine method of what I like to call "Logic-Last" arguing where what makes SENSE doesn't matter, to just stop, take a deep breath and pose this question "What if it had been a man..." and then walk away. No, this will NOT help you win but it will plant the seed. As we all know you will NEVER win with your significant other. But when she walks away, she will think about it. "He cheated on me, so I keyed his car", when she makes that argument for why society thinks that's ok, why it's cool and "equal" to justify your emotions through real and physical damage. Just say, "What if it had been a man..." "I was verbally abused so I threw bricks threw his windows and slashed his tires" First off, that is NOT ok. Women are the FIRST people to talk about *in a whining voice* "manage your feelings. Express what you feel... let your emotions out. You should be more in touch with your blah blah blah blah..." however, who's the first person to... Look I think the point has been made and there is no need to beat a dead horse. Finally, I would just like to say. I am NOT anti-feminism or anything like that, although to the Feminist-Extremist it might seem so. However I AM pro-fairness... I say if you offend the most equal and fair way to rectify your offense is in the same fashion is which you offend. You burn my house; the most equal and FAIR way to rectify that offense is to build me a new house as close to exactly what I had before. So if you have hurt feelings, there is NO reason, excuse, justification, or answer for your feelings causing physically damage. If you disagree, just think... "What if it had been a man”?




~Wondering Why~

Bush is Wack... "Beating a Dead Horse Deader!" [Reposted from 6/07]

I'm going to just dive right into this one... This ignorant ass man got on TV a few days ago and said his major problems with China was that they 1) are not a consumer economy they are a saving economy and 2) they don't want to eat AmeriKKKan beef. "They need to eat AmeriKKKan beef, it's good for them; they'll like it…"
Ok, so I'll start with the former... Since when is somebody SAVING HIS OR HER MONEY a bad thing! Clearly this illustrates how ass backwards this country is. They (and I say they because as a Black man in ameriKKa I think it's clear that nothing hear represents my interest) think that spending all your money is a GOOD think. Sure, let's all not save for our families and futures when there will be no social security in about 20 years, lets not put money away when people are getting bought out of their pensions and laid off left and right, let's not save money when all these major companies are out sourcing jobs to these third world countries because they have lower minimum wages (if any) and more lax federal control over private business, lets not save money when the gap between rich and poor is greater then EVER! Yes, Mr. Bush you're right, China being a SAVING economy is obviously a problem... (for the people who grew up on the short bus... that was sarcasm). Why does he think this is ok to say? Why does he have the power to say this? Who the HELL wrote that for him? And WHY do they still have a job? It's been said before, however I'm going to beat the hell out of this dead horse... WHY WAS CLINTON IMPEECHEECHED for his personal life, that didn't effect how he ran the country and Bush is sending us to hell in a hand basket and the peanut gallery is silent!?! AMAZING!
As if that wasn't enough, he basically TOLD a country, no, let's be clear, he told a successful, booming, ANCIENT country/economy/culture/people, who have been around and thriving for longer than the USA was an idea, what they should want to eat. I mean china only gave us little stuff like Oooo, let's say MATH! I mean hell, they do EVERYTHING better than you! If they clean toilets that are the best freaking toilet bowl cleaners EVER! And George Bush thinks HE can tell them what they should eat; he doesn't even know what he should eat! And again, what's truly amazing is that NOBODY says anything!
Question time... How can white people still think there is nothing wrong with racial views in the country when this man says things like that about an obviously superior culture ( and lets be real we all know Chinese people do EVERYTHING better, I saw them beat Black Greeks at step shows, Puerto Ricans at break dancing, and white people at, well, everything, lol)?! Why doesn't anyone DO something? And finally PLEASE tell me how these people can still sit and think that everything is going WELL? How can they think that Bush is "helping the country"?
I don't know... Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe everything is going well, maybe I'm wrong and none of these questions are valid. OR, I'm right and we all need to move to Amsterdam. I will say this, the only people I really have respect for in this country anymore are the Native Americans (the few that are left). They are the true fighters... They've been fighting Terrorism since 1492! [If you didn't get that... you probably voted for Bush.]

~Wondering Why~

A quick note on noticing...

There's a problem when people are getting most of their news from ESPN. I'm sitting here with my friend's brother. His older brother is channel surfing and he lands on ESPN. As they are talking about basketball trades and hockey scores I realize that to too many people, ESPN contains what they deem "news" in this country. But more importantly, are they wrong? In a time where the legal matters of basketball stars and Paris Hilton getting out of jail are not just covered on tabloid TV or the sports/entertainment section the news. But are breaking news, not just around the country but, international news! What does it say about a country when both O.J.'s trail AND a presidential address are both considered, national, show stopping, staying home from work to see, extra long lunch break, hurry up and be quite events??!!

I recently have adopted a new mantra "Distraction is everywhere, FOCUS!!!" I interpret that to mean that the world is a distraction. It is a puzzle in the form of distraction and if you can work out this puzzle you have the power. For example, lets use rims, and jewelry and clothes and we can't leave out cars... Gotta keep 'em spinnin', right?!?!... sike*. Black folks spend all their time focusing on the distractions. Almost sounds ridiculous doesn't it, that somebody would choose to focus on a distraction, something that by nature is designed to take your attention OFF what's important... We spend all our spare time trying to attain these things like tons of new clothes, cars, and cell phones that do a lot of stuff but you can't actually make a call cause the shit gets bad service. You can go to the moon on a cell phone now, but try to make a call on it... Static like a MOTHERFUCKER. Mean while, as we focus on all this distractions we neglect the stuff we are actually SUPPOSED to be doing like raising our kids, our women, families, education, and how the hell we are going to maintain all these superfluities of life that we indulge in before we have the means to take care of them. All that is distraction, things DELIBERATELY set in place to keep our minds working on things that have nothing to do with the rules that govern our lives, politics, and polices that keep us struggling as a people. We ignore all these things in pursuit of these distractions that are DELIBERATELY PLACED TO KEEP OUR MINDS WONDERING OFF what's important.

Now, white folks on the other hand. Well the ones that got the memo, all look like bums, don't drive huge SUV's, no rims, and they'd be dead before they buy a grill or bling... But they have an 8 figure savings account, own property and network with the law makers and politicians because they have learned to block out the distractions. They are raised to know that all those things are for niggers/spics or just insert any poor, underrepresented populations there. They are raised to know what investing is, why it's good to save now and research before you buy things. Little white kids learn this stuff before they can hold their heads up; save your money, plan for the future, WORK SMART NOT HARD!"

Back to my original point about distractions however... Black people are, right now, in a constant state of being distracted by cars, by money, by "bling", by WHITE PEOPLE, but more hurtfully, by ONE ANOTHER. In an attempt at sounding extremely cliché to point my point; we are the proverbial "Crabs in a barrel". Constantly pulling each other down in order to rise as individuals. Distracted by something from the fact that the individuals should not be put above the whole. We are a village in a very strange place and should be helping one another. By being distracted and pulling each other down so much when we see somebody getting a little “too much” is not helping, we are operatively keeping the whole down.

So when I see people getting their world news off of ESPN I'm a little concerned about American Priorities and more so that we are picking them up, Black People. What's worse is that CNN prints more retractions then ESPN! I'll let that one Marinate for a little while in your brains. I'ma stop here. I lost myself in my thought tangents on this one... but we need to focus Black people. We need to cut out these distractions and come up! In the words of my man Kanye, "George Bush does NOT like Black people..."

~Head's up, Eyes open, Fist Clenched..."

Gentrification is a BITCH! That's why I hate Whitey, what about you?

I'm going to vent a little here. This might be offensive to SOME but you know what? I don't give a pluck! I'm getting off the plane to come back home to Harlem after being away at school for a long stretch. As I'm coming uptown I notice that the crowd is a LOT "brighter" than I'm used to.

Ok, I think you might need a lil background info on me and my life before I start this post. I grew up in Harlem, NYC but went to school on the "Upper East Side" of Manhattan AKA Ritzy Old White Mansville. Most of my classmates had never seen a black person up-close before they met me or my best friend David (who I went to school with). As such, most of the people I went to school with or their families had never been above 96th street. 96th was the invisible line that separated Manhattan from Harlem, The Heights, Spanish Harlem and basically anywhere else that had some actual culture of it's own... long story short... if you were on the train before 96th and staying on further uptown you would literally see them run off and all the Black and Brown people come on. Like a choreographed dance almost...

Ok, back to my story... So, I'm coming uptown and all of a sudden it's just, for lack a better, term... ugly! All these damn WHITE PEOPLE are EVERYWHERE now. Before all you crackers start throwing around words like "Reverse Racism" and so on, I would like to SMACK you with one that's a million times uglier, you ready? Dictionaries out! "GENTRIFICATION". For those of you that don't know what that means I'll break it down shortly. Gentrification is a big word white people use that means. “We realized that we moved ourselves out of the places that we need to be via "White Flight" to the suburbs and crammed all the Spanish and Black people into the city where we have left them to their own devices and given them what we, at the time, considered to be the, less choice area of the city but now are wanting to move back.” So what they do is very covertly buy property in the low income overwhelmingly black/Latino areas and start to do things like leave abandon buildings vacant for VERY extended periods, raise rents, build stores that push out locally owned businesses and that the people of the area can't afford to shop in, and ultimately make OUR neighborhoods too expensive for US. Once that's done, like vermin they move in an multiply, with NO, absolutely NO regard for any of the people or CULTURE that were there before, totally disregarding the fact that the ONLY reason these people they are trying to push are there in the first place is because of blind discrimination in real-estate and social systems that wouldn't allow for them to relocate... Again before you "bright" people start getting all tight (cause that's what a good pussy does) and start throwing around exceptions like the few black people sprinkled out in queens and far out in the Bronx and, L.I. realize that those people are the FEW exceptions and even though they have "made it" (a concept that warrants a entire post on it's own) they have done so in SPITE of the oppressive factors I'm talking about, NOT because they don't exist or have gotten "better", so SHUT UP!

Now that we know what Gentrification is, I'm going to "TELL 'EM WHY I'M MAD!" Ok, I'm mad because I have been living in this area for my WHOLE LIFE and my mother has been living here for all of her life before me... all together that something like 80 years cumulatively, and all that time the "hood" was still the "hood" To quote Mr. Rock... Stocks went up and down, the hood was still F'd up, white people went through Enron jumped out of windows and the hood was still F'd up, White people, travel and worry about bush vs. Clinton vs. Nixon blah blah... all the while the hood was STILL F’d up... Growing up it was like all we had was each other in the neighborhood because we weren't welcomed downtown. Being followed in stores, stared at on streets, and stopped by police... and they were all too scared to come uptown except on those fucking tour buses to stare at us like monkeys and take pictures... so after a while we got used to having "less". But now that they have decided to "re occupy" our neighborhoods all these big corporations that didn't give two shits about placing stores here when it was just us are "developing" all over the place! Starbucks, Staples, H&M, Chucky Cheese's, Nine West, Sprint, Verizon; all these businesses have BEEN heavily used by the residents of these areas (Harlem, Washington Heights...) for years, matter of fact without our business they would crumble, however when it was just us in these areas they didn't provide us with ANY attention, they didn't expend ANY energy to reach our or expand into our community. Now that the "Cracker Committee" has moved in it's "Oh, we have to move uptown." <<<*Tight white voice*.


So, I think I have vented enough, But because I just am not here to babble I'd also like to spark some thought I'd like to say this to all the people that have endured through my overtly "Angry Black man Spiel", FIGHT GENTRIFICATION, the key here is education. Chances are if you are online and able to understand what I'm saying you aren't one of the people I'm talking about. But many of OUR mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, people that have been living in their neighborhoods for decades aren't educated enough to understand what gentrification is and how it's hurting them. Let's face it; many of us (now 22, 23 years old) are in many cases the first to go to college or in the case of our Latino brothers and sisters the only ones to even speak English. White people have learned how to oppress much more effectively since the 40's 50's 60's and 70's.. They no longer give us overt things to rally around like water hoses, and "Whites Only" signs. They have gone underground. Doing things like buying us out and raising rents and systematically feeding us things like, BET and Reggaton (so sad...). The problem with that is they have started using a language that most of us aren't educated enough to understand so we become caught in the back draft. What I propose to my generation, to all of mi gente, is that we take what we know and explain it to our elders translate it into whatever language they need it to be in for them to understand it, for them to get mad and angry, and to motivate them to action! Whether that be Spanish, Ebonics, or just "Southern Talk" (Black people know about that... it's what your grandmother speaks... "Wrench around and wrench it off!!!" LOL). They are getting away with this because we don't understand what's going on and by the time we figure it out it's too late... we need to come up people!

Finally, to all the white people in the hood talking about "I didn't do it." "It was my ancestors" "I have 5 black friends...” Realize this, just your PRESENSE is too much. You living in an apartment in Harlem means that, probably, 5 residents that can't afford to live anywhere else are now homeless. Furthermore realize that those five residents were probably old people that have been living there for DECADES! Now, because some honky landlord decided that your white college student, bohemian dread lock (I HATE WHITE PEOPLE WITH DRED LOCKS!!! THEY STEEL EVERYTHING FROM US!!) ass, could pay more than a grandmother living under rent control could they moved her out and your ass in. so yes YOU are the problem... LEAVE!

There's a Micro-Thin Line Between Love and Obsession...

By now I’m sure you’ve all figured out that my mind just goes with things sometime. Hence this Blog which is full of thought out issues about NOTHING! Lol. On that note, what is the real between “Love” and “Obsession”? I’m sure for some of my friends that are out there reading this, we have had this conversation at least once before.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that the only difference between the two is mutuality. Let’s explore… ☺ Love is what? Love is a mutual strong, positive, warm, emotional attachment one has for the person who has a similar attachment to them during the same period. Right? Right. It’s doing all the little things that people do for themselves for someone else. Here this may help explain what I mean. For example; we all can get our own shoes from the closet or if we are having a meal and finish one thing before another we can get more ourselves. But love is when your significant other goes and gets your shoes from the closet because they know you are in a bit of a rush or if you are eating together and they see you have finished your drink they get up to get you a refreshed glass or more green beans… They say to love something is to labor for it. I suppose what I’m suggesting here is that the labor lies in the details, you know, the small things. So yeah that’s love, give and take. I love you and you love me back, right? Right…

Obsession however, a very critical and dangerous place to be, is only a hop-skip or a jump away. The line is so fine it’s hardly even there! It’s scary if you think about. Well, we have already established the defining character of love from obsession: mutuality. So naturally a non-mutual “loving” relationship is just the opposite. Obsession is when somebody loves you and, quite frankly, the feelings just aren’t mutual. The only thing that makes you think somebody loves you and isn’t just crazy is the fact that you would do the same for them or that you like it/them. Imagine somebody you can’t stand bringing you coffee to your door every morning. I mean EVERY morning, just day after day. Everyday you slam the door on them, and everyday they bring more coffee. With a huge grin to boot! That would just be scary, even a good reason to call the police, some might say, or at LEAST campus safety! But now, flip it. Lets say that the person that brings you coffee everyday is somebody you like. Whoa, now that changes the whole can-o-beans. Now it’s perceived as “endearing”, “Kind”, and “Thoughtful”. You think to yourself, “Awww, she’s been bringing me breakfast every morning. She hasn’t missed a day in 6 week! Aww how great...mushy mushy mushy…” but if the girl was ugly or her breath stunk it would be like “Damn, why is this crazy bitch still coming to my house EVERYDAY at 9:30 with these crusty ass English Muffins!”

Ok, so for those who are still with me… I say that to say this; why do we think these obsessed people can’t be just as good a companion as somebody “in love” I mean hell. I would even go as far as to say that an obsessed person might even make a BETTER mate. I mean you know they will always be there… always (lol), you know that they NEED you, you know that they are dedicated, and that they will stop at nothing to gain your trust, love, and approval. I mean hell, short of a pit-bull you’d be hard pressed to find such loyalty, LMAO! And this is DEF a two way thing… So Ms. “UB Feminist” and Sophia, you guys can chill! I’m acknowledging that guys are obsessive too, lol. Actually I would think guys are “obsessed” more than women. It’s the possessive nature. It has a tendency to take over… lol. Wait, that’s not funny, I’m talking about being stalked here. I take that lol back and would like to substitute it with a concerned and pointed silence ………………… concerned*……………………. Pointed*…………………………. Ok now we’re back.

So, in closing. Give that stalker behind the bush, or the man outside the 5th floor window, or the woman that’s been following you to work every day for the last 6 months a chance people. They might be just the one you were looking for but didn’t know it so that’s why they had to follow you around for 6 months and mail you pictures of themselves that they cut out and pasted onto pictures of you and your family on vacation which they had to break into your house to steal but they knew you wouldn’t mind because once you noticed them they would be able to explain why all of that was necessary in order for them to MAKE YOU LOVE THEM! LMAO!

Ok, I’m not really expecting to many comments on that one. But if you have an opinion please feel free! Oh, and by the way. Do NOT buy the iPhone black people. I know how we can get in this age of conspicuous consumption. But lets not fall into the trap that apple and ATT have so brilliantly set up for us to go buy shit we DON’T NEED! Plus it’s going to be full of glitches when it first comes out just like everything else Apple does. So if you MUST be “THAT nigga” please wait about six months.

Ask NOT who you are, but who you are GOING to be...

Question of the day… “Why is it that, as people, it is easier for us to enter into relationships than to free ourselves from them?”

People spend most of their lives looking for the right relationship. They spend years, decades looking for someone “right” to spend the rest of what life they have left after vigorously searching out this one particular person, with. Now I suppose that the first question was just to let you know where my mind was when the upcoming tangent hit. So, here’s what I think… (Think about what you may ask… well, let me know if you think you have it cause I have no CLUE, lol). I think that Men like what a woman is when they meet her and they like a woman that most closely resembles the “perfect” woman that he has constructed in his head. On the other hand woman seem to be more attached to a particular man and hopes he has or fits certain criteria that she would hope her “perfect” man would have.

So to be even clearer I’m saying that – Women seem to be attached to the Man and Men attached to an Ideal.--. Let’s explore…

Ladies first. I would like to start by asking every single woman that has been in a long-term serious relationship which has ENDED or any woman that has known a woman in a similar situation to ask herself, “Why did it take so long.” What I mean by that is, if you are a woman that has been in a really long, really committed relationship and it has come to an end, then you’ve probably heard this phrase before “The amount of time you’ve been together divided by two is the amount of time you’ve been breaking up…” If you haven’t well oops, maybe that was some part of the man code I was not supposed to break but sorry guys, the formula is out the bag. Lol. So the real question is, why for that long period of time did you stay with a man that in your heart of hearts you didn’t want to be with? Now I know that there are a lot of exceptions to the rule, I respect that. And if you feel you are one of those exceptions, please feel free to realize that I’m NOT talking to you… So, like I was saying, why did you stay with him? Well, I would offer the answer that it was because you thought he would change? You thought that he had the potential to be a better guy? You thought that he just needed time? Or any plethora of reasons that just didn’t include “he’s just not what I want.” I have encountered so many young ladies that have been with or are currently involved with men that have NONE of the things that they are looking for in a man. And I often ask myself “why.” Well, after watching a VERY engaging episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” I realized why. A brief recap on the show. The main start is involved with two guys. They are both tired of being emotionally tossed around by her so she has to choose. The time comes for her to make a choice and she lists all the great things about guy A, he’s funny, charming, makes her feel nice, all that… Then it’s guy B, he’s hurt her, made her feel horrible, cheated on her, the whole nine, but he wants her back. So after she goes down all the pros/cons of both men she says “Well, guy A is so great… but Guy B is just, well, Guy B.” To suggest, that by Guy B just being who he is, just by his EXSISTANCE he is enough for her. Regardless of what good qualities guy A has. What I got from that and what my brain so quickly put together is that for her HE was enough… I mean she knew what she wanted, but she also knew that he wasn’t any of those things and she chose him anyway.

After I saw the show I thought about it more… In most conversations on those day time talk shows and on sit coms and dramas the women are always with the men because they have so much “potential” and they are “going places” or they just have the power to make them feel so “nice”. And I realize all those things; Potential (POSSIBLE energy), “going places” (Insinuating that they weren’t already THERE) suggest that this woman is with this man because she thinks and is EXPECTING him to change into something he currently is not. Now that in my opinion is so obvious in modern relationships today.

WOMEN ARE WITH MEN THEY HOPE WILL CHANGE AND MEN ARE WITH WOMEN HOPPING THEY WON’T!

Now, for men… A man, from my point of view as one, and knowing quite a few, lol, is about the ideal and not so much the specific woman. So, let’s use the situation for the show I gave before. I would say that a man in a position to choose two women would not let things like emotional history and the superfluities of either woman’s “charm” sway his decision too far away from his ideal. Let me explain. If a man has an idea of what his “perfect woman” should be, for example 5’6, dark brown, big booty, a sense of humor and braids. Well any woman that has those characteristics is good for him, from his POV. Not to say that the individual is no longer important but that does suggest that somebody simply “being who they are” isn’t enough like in the first example of the Grey’s Anatomy starts. A man would have a hard time looking at two woman and seeing Woman A, standing there all full of the qualities he wants and Woman B standing next to her and choose woman B just because she’s her in SPITE of having NONE of the qualities he wants in a woman… For us it’s more about the qualities the woman has not so much her. Although I suppose if they are her qualities that they are her, but that’s another tangent on it’s own…

I’ll let the women make their own inferences about their side of this story however I will contribute this! EVERY guy I talk to about any serious problem with a woman he is committed to, always stem from something that wasn’t a problem in the beginning. Something that he was doing from day one and something that has never been a problem before. Now, with all the information and insinuation stated above. The only reason I can think for something like that is because he’s doing something that she thought he would, to use a broad brush, “grow out of”. On the flip side, whenever there is something about a woman that I hear a man vent about it’s about things changing too much. The “change” for a man the PROBLEM, lol.

Now, I’m not saying that “Sameness” is the “man goal” but I am saying that 1) the dynamic of the man liking the ideals and the woman liking the man is bad because it leaves the door open for women to constantly come up on the short end of the stick. If a guy realizes, as I have, this secret then he can do pretty much whatever he wants cause he knows that it’s not about what he does or who he is or how he’s changed. For her... For her, it’s about him just simply being him. And that puts the women at an emotional disadvantage. And 2) Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it ain’t all that GOOD sometimes either!

In closing I’d like to make clear that this is most surely an ongoing, open though in my head so please comment on just what you think about what I said. Shit, I’m hoping maybe I can get some answers for you all.

The World is F&%$ up, but We had/have NOTHING to do With it Black People.. YAY for Us...

My theory on white people and why the hell they are EVERYWHERE! This is my attempt to answer the age old question (at least outside of the white community) “Why can’t we have ANYTHING?” That is to say; why is it that whenever any ethnic group or culture of people create something truly original or amazing, white people have to come in and try to take it, steal it, imitate it, innovate it, retool it, or just plane MESS IT UP. We had Jazz, they came out with Kenny G, we had Rap, they came out with Vanilla Ice, we had Soul they came out with Jon B, we had “Black Wall Street” (look it up people, good stuff) and they BOMBED IT, we had the Harlem Renaissance and they Gentrified it, we had Africa and THEY MADE IT AIDS central (and if you don’t believe that then you can just substitute that with any other bad thing you can think of, start with slavery perhaps…) even the Natives had America and the “white man” “discovered” it. But I think everyone sees where I’m going with this. The culture of the white man is literally the “Culture of the conquered” (but that is a whole other blog…). So what I offer here is a brief but slightly thought out answer to why this happens. EVERY time something comes out of a culture… Oh, and before I forget. I can’t exclude my brothers from the far east they had little things like writing, the calendar, MATH, and complex system for, well, everything, and "The Man" came over and YOU GUESSED it. Jacked it! Ok, NOW I can move on…

So, why is the white man so anxious to spread out? I propose it is because of their lack of space. Let’s take a step back and look at where white people come from (generally), Europe. Now lets look at our Black and Brown brothers and sisters. Generally from the larger continents, Africa, Australia, South America, North America… basically anywhere the people have color. Now if we contrast these places one of the big differences is size. All though on most Eurocentric maps North America and Europe seem huge compared to the other much larger continents (think about why a map would show an inaccurate view of the world…) Europe is actually a very SMALL place, with very few natural resources. One of the fundamental urges of ALL people is to procreate. To perpetuate the species and all that jazz. However, if you are a early civilization European one of the first things you are going to have to deal with is space… or lack there of. Practically, before this whole marriage thing became the law of the land men used to have like a 100 wives… as many as they could support. But if you are a man with a large family you need a lot of land, especially in an agricultural time… So you would need to deal with your neighbor if you are working with a limited amount of space. I suggest that because of this limited amount of space that the early Europeans were dealing with they developed an almost INNATE urge/ability/desire to kill, conquer, and steal. Not out of enjoyment (although over time I believe they began to enjoy it) but out of necessity. Basically it was a matter of “I need more space, you have it, and I’m taking it…” Ultimately it just developed over thousands of years to become what we know call “War on terrorism” “apartheid” “Slavery” “Native American Genocide” and, my personal favorite “Socio-Economic Gentrification”

To contrast lets look at what the early non- European experience was probably like for example places like African and North/South America. All three very large land masses tons of space and even MORE natural resources. I think Africa alone has like a TRILLION times the natural resources Europe has, lol. If you are an African or Native you are not pressed for land at ALL. I mean even historically when you look at these people they are generally a sharing communal people. They don’t “own” land in the sense that white people take and trade it… they just live on it and if you should so happen to need some, it’s yours. Why? Because we have so MUCH, lol. A man at that time could have a plantation full of wives and kids and pets and cattle and all that and still not infringe upon his neighbor. Even when there were wars or battles it took DAYS to reach the enemy cause it was SO MUCH SPACE in between. Space just was not an issue. So, because space was such a big deal over in their land they spend time and energy developing ways and strategies to take it, divide it, own it, steal it, and laws and rules concerning it… the very first constitution said we had the right to “Life liberty and the ownership of PROPERTY” that’s all these people spent their time one. Us, however, (black and brown folks) didn’t need to spend time with that so we spent our time on other things like life and enjoying it! So, naturally when Europe finally got to Africa, America, the Caribbean and tried to understand us through their lens it just didn’t work and because they had, by then, spent centuries perfecting their “craft” we stood no chance… and here we are today. A world dominated by Europe… If you disagree with that ask yourself why is English the international language of, well, EVERYTHING? Why is it the first language of so many countries that AREN’T England or even close to it? Why do so many countries trade in DOLLARS? Why does everywhere have a McDonald’s and Starbuck's? Why is over half of the UN military force the United States? And why is European history standard for almost every “1st world” school curriculum”?

On a more personal note, I think we can take a page or two from the white mans book. I mean it may be a page bound to the next by blood and the sharp end of a sword or at this point the dark barrel of a gun. But lets face it the system they set up works. It’s almost immaculate! Here we are, almost 1000 years after that fact still being force to deny the very ESSENCE of who we are to assimilate and make sure that Europe still has enough Space…